Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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