i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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