i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
