Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
