I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
false alarm, still single
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
