I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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