But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize