I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
