your parents love me but you hate me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
