the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
