I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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