Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
