we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
