i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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