I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
sex in a hospital.. check
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
