my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
