you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
True strength comes from lack of pants
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
