I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
