i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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