Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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