He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
