Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
