You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
