The beer is more important than you right now.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
