what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
