Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
