Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we're making bets on your personal life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
