I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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