I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Can I color on your dick again?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
