I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think a kid would responsible me up
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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