sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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