do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
