ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
