dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
