I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
