Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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