Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
porn star boner night. come get it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
