i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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