Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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