I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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