now i know why i became what i already was.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
