is your mom at the bar?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
