Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
