any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
