I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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