I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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