when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There r osticjed everywhere
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
