Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I think i got beer on your cat.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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