If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
