hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
