You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He did a backflip because drugs
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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