She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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