no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
