I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
