I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
