Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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