you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
