i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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