I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
